This is Why You'll Die Alone

Aug 18

This is where you went on your first date with that girl from match.com. You then asked the waitress for separate checks.

Aug 17

You dumped Brooke Shields for Steffi Graf.

Aug 02

“All of these tracks are in a mono mix.. thanks but no thanks, I can‘t listen to non-stereo mixes[.]” —

“Sigurrosenthal,” bit torrent user, who will certainly die alone

[source]

Jul 31

gordonshumway:

Nothing combines your appreciation of Extra Virgin Olive Oil with an unwavering commitment to being lonely like a Rachel Ray back tattoo.

—via

Jul 30

We wish to break from our regularly scheduled programming to note that this man will die atop a pile of beautiful women.

(via mrkstrkrft)

Jul 28

Because vanity comes with a price.

[daily mail via dListed]

… you’re @jamesbentley07 and you just wished Soulja Boy a happy birthday on Twitter and your autobiography reads “I am James. I play in a Band. Hi.”

Jul 23

We understand that raiding until sunrise is your only source of human interaction, but trust us: when you die, your guild is just going to assume you forgot to pay your internet bill. Nobody will care.

Because Muscle Milk stains run deep.

We’re at a complete loss for words: this kid went for Nacho Cheese instead of Supreme.

(via juliasegal)